Something Happened on the Way…

Feeling like my head was about to explode, I managed either enough courage or desperation to drive the little blue Focus to the clinic through compacted snow and ice topped off with a layer of water now that it was raining. It wasn’t a wasted trip and I discovered that I wasn’t completely crazy. My Eustachian tubes were plugged and that was why I was having all sorts of interesting symptoms and a migraine to boot. For a second, I thought those Sprite and Black Currant mixers I’ve been sipping on had a little sump’n-sump’n if you know what I mean. More meds and Miss Is and I headed home.

Near Old Town, on a connecting side road I saw a red, older model sedan fishtailing in my direction. I skooched over as much as I could without getting caught in the ditch to give this guy more room and slowed down to the blazing speed of 10mph. Just as the oncoming car approached, a punk-arse kid climbed out of the front passenger side window a la Dukes of Hazard and lobbed at literal bag of crap in my direction before slithering back in and speeding, slip-sliding away. It hit the front of the Focus and did what any wet bag of crap would do; get all over my car. I kid you not. Cross my heart.

Instead of getting their license plate number, I dealt with the shock of being crap-bombed. The last thing I wanted to do was wash the car, but I had no choice in the matter. I know I shouldn’t take it personally, I just happen to be at the wrong place at their right time. Even still, hosing off the hood of your car when you don’t feel good to begin with, the smell adding to the topsy-turviness of my tummy, was hard to swallow as a “ha-ha” teenage prank. Obviously their mothers failed to raise decent young men.

Hopefully, that’s the first and the last time I have to deal with brown-bagged business, but I seem to be getting a lot of opportunities lately. First the toy dog, stomach bugs and now this. Are the Powers That Be trying to tell me something? I can think of a specific slogan….. you fill in the blanks.

Labels: Random Thoughts