Something Happened on the Way…

brownbag

Feeling like my head was about to explode, I managed either enough courage or desperation to drive the little blue Focus to the clinic through compacted snow and ice topped off with a layer of water now that it was raining. It wasn’t a wasted trip and I discovered that I wasn’t completely crazy. My Eustachian tubes were plugged and that was why I was having all sorts of interesting symptoms and a migraine to boot. For a second, I thought those Sprite and Black Currant mixers I’ve been sipping on had a little sump’n-sump’n if you know what I mean. More meds and Miss Is and I headed home.

Near Old Town, on a connecting side road I saw a red, older model sedan fishtailing in my direction. I skooched over as much as I could without getting caught in the ditch to give this guy more room and slowed down to the blazing speed of 10mph. Just as the oncoming car approached, a punk-arse kid climbed out of the front passenger side window a la Dukes of Hazard and lobbed at literal bag of crap in my direction before slithering back in and speeding, slip-sliding away. It hit the front of the Focus and did what any wet bag of crap would do; get all over my car. I kid you not. Cross my heart.

Instead of getting their license plate number, I dealt with the shock of being crap-bombed. The last thing I wanted to do was wash the car, but I had no choice in the matter. I know I shouldn’t take it personally, I just happen to be at the wrong place at their right time. Even still, hosing off the hood of your car when you don’t feel good to begin with, the smell adding to the topsy-turviness of my tummy, was hard to swallow as a “ha-ha” teenage prank. Obviously their mothers failed to raise decent young men.

Hopefully, that’s the first and the last time I have to deal with brown-bagged business, but I seem to be getting a lot of opportunities lately. First the toy dog, stomach bugs and now this. Are the Powers That Be trying to tell me something? I can think of a specific slogan….. you fill in the blanks.

7 comments:

  1. young family said...

    Ok that is very uncool!!! I am angry for you, if I was there I would have a Fried Green Tomatoes moment on those young _______ teenagers!! You know I would too. Shame on them!!

    I have only actually seen the brown bag bomb once, on a car while I was walking. Yuck! I am so sorry that you had to deal with that while not feeling well.

    I hope the meds kick in and give you some relief :)

  2. mandbrid said...

    I agree with above "Tawonda!"

    I can't believe someone would actually do that...I'm so sorry you had to deal with that on top of being sick.

    I hope you get feeling better soon!

  3. Bronco P3t3 said...

    That stinks!(Pun intended) Well let's load up the boys in the back of BWs Denver Bronco truck and go on a hunt! We can find the perpetrators and put them in a bag and throw them at a car. J/K. But we could bury the car in slush.

    Sorry for the awful experience. But Karma... golden rule, with catch up to them.

  4. Connie said...

    Well, chickee, I ain't so gracious! I say track down those little suckers and dog-bomb their car! You betcha. May their honeymoon night be celebate! (You do get my drift here, right?!?!)
    Smooches,
    Connie

  5. Connie said...

    I meant celibate.......duh. Can't spell when in pain.......
    Connie

  6. TammyP said...

    I can't believe that!!! I agree with everyone above. Hopefully they will all get what is coming to them.

  7. ...for all eternity. said...

    Oh my gosh! I can't believe that! I am so sorry that happened to you, but at least it made an interesting blog entry.