Mission Impossible: Episodes 1-3

Our mission: Playing Secret Santa to a widow in our ward. It’s been our Christmastime objective for a few years now and this years recipient has an unusual number of ‘dangers’ that our highly trained, Special Ops agents need to be aware of. While gathering data on our subject, it was learned that she had effectively “retained, removed and disposed” a raccoon with merely a broken broom handle and sheer, senior citizen might.

First Night Report: An agent who goes by the codename “Momma” made a successful drop, albeit just shy of the bull's-eye. The intended target was 10 yards to the west, but “Momma” failed both the lock picking and chain-link fence scaling obstacle course at Basic so the gate was as good as it got. Besides, a possible pooch problem had not yet been verified. “Momma” is the detail-oriented, master planner and package making extraordinaire highly trained in combining toxic amounts of fluff with substance. Drops are not her “thing”.

Second Night Report: Agents “Scarecrow” and “Flash” ran the gauntlet, managing to penetrate the unguarded, outer perimeter to deliver on target under the waning light of day. The subject was acquired watching t.v. in the living room as seen through the large picture window flanking the intended route to the doorstep. Needless to say, the zone was hot.

Third Night Report: Joining agents “Scarecrow” and “Flash” was “Pretty-Pink Princess” whose petite yet formidable size was required in placing the object beside the welcome mat. Subject was again acquired viewing Sunday night programming and therefore remained neutralized. However, our agents suspect a growing curiosity in the subject who immediately rose from her chair before the ding could finish the dong. Broom handle was not sighted.

In evacuating from the drop-zone, Agent “Pretty-Pink Princess” slipped and fell; a causality of the snow and ice now hampering the mission. She kept operating silence, though tough tears could be traced down her rosy cheeks. Our wheelman, Agent “Butta G”, flipped our assault vehicle around with added flair; a slight fishtail to the left, leaving nothing behind but the dim red glow of running lights through the falling snow.


  1. Connie said...

    Yo, momma-dog, you go girl!! Hooooaaaaaahhhhhhh!!
    Chick lady........
    :-)<------Me laughing my head off....plus other body parts......

  2. Bronco P3t3 said...

    Good to see the Christmas Spirit is alive and well with your clan. A season or two more and “Pretty-Pink Princess” will be a formidable competitor with “Scarecrow” and “Flash” to complete the sneaky duties. In some cases even out perform her elder agents.

    What a great skill set you have taught your agents for this time of year.

    ---This comment will self destruct in two minutes---


  3. young family said...

    ROFL!!! Seriously!!

    Until I read that "Pretty-Pink Princess" got hurt :( As long as she pulled it together it is all good.

    Way to go, I am not sure if my fam could do it. I'm glad there are people out there doing what we should all be doing :)