I Survived

(Of what little remains of my sanity!)

Twenty-four people (22 at one time), 10 days and occupying every inch of my 3,205 sqft. home. At least a dozen rolls of Charmin extra-soft, 12 liters of soda, 8 gallons of milk, 16.8 lbs. of pork, 20 cups of rice, 6 boxes of cereal, 2 Party-sized Lasagna, 3 garlic bread loaves, and enough snacks to stock a theaters concession stand during the opening weekends of all six Star Wars movies and I haven't even begun to cover the lot of it. (To really "feel" that paragraph, say it in one exhausting breath with total disregard for grammar and punctuation.)

Important things I learned from this experience:

1. The sparkling cleanliness of my home that I worked so hard to perfect was officially D.O.A. (Destroyed on Arrival) the moment the doorbell rang. Wisdom gained: Next time leave the house in disarray and forgo all pretense that you're the reincarnate of June Cleaver.

2. I can control the level of happiness in my guests just about as well as I can control the weather. Wisdom gained: Happy is as Happy does; always keep your raincoat, umbrella and galoshes handy and just go with the flow and sing in the rain... or cry, which ever comes first.

3. The moment my youngest left the baby/toddler stage is the moment that I apparently forgot what real 'baby-proofing' is. Size and height is all that matters. Wisdom gained: If it's smaller than a bread box and not stamped with Fisher-Price on the bottom, it should be placed at least 7 1/2 ft. from off the ground plus the height of the nearest possible ladder a wee farmer can devise.

4. Having plans is like playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey. Tie a big black sash across your eyes, spin like a figure skater and try to walk upright in whatever direction makes you look less like a drunken sailor after a six month, wartime cruise in the Gulf. The moment you lose sight is the moment you realize that coming within the general direction of where you should or wanted to be is miraculous. Wisdom gained: Kiss your tail-less ass good-bye and refer to back to number two.

In the end, D.J. was baptized, Devin now holds the Priesthood and nobody died. What more could a girl as for?

One person, 10 days on a private beach in Hawaii, 12 pina coladas, 6 bottles of sunscreen, 2 trays of decadent desserts, a pillow soft lounge chair and absolutely nothing I have to do or remotely think about during said period of time.

I survived!


  1. Barney Family Blog said...

    First of all congrats! havng that many people for that long of a time under one roof impressive. Secondly, I love your blog! You have such fun way of putting things. I just love it!

  2. TammyP said...

    Stacey, you are so awesome! Your life makes me tired. Just the fact that you had 3200+ sqft. clean enough to have occupied is amazing to me. I only have about 300 sqft. that I would let eyes from the outside see. I love having company but I think I love seeing them leave just as much.
    Devin did an AWESOME job passing on Sunday. He was so polite when Lena Erikson dropped her binkie. He bent down to pick it up. He didn't get flustered at all. Way to go Devin!!!

  3. Forever Young said...

    I love the picture :) I also love the picture you paint. I even said the first paragraph in one breath for full affect :)

    It is hard having that many family members around, and for that long you deserve a long vacation with some sun and no responsiblity (Good luck with that one, but you deserve it:))

    I am glad you got the boys baptized and ordained and everyone is still alive :) I wish we could have been there to add 6 more to the chaos :)