I *Used* To Be Cool

Having been out with the rest of the moms and dads getting ready to send their children off to school, I’ve noticed a few things that I can’t quite decide how to feel about. For instance, while hunting gym shoes for Devin, I came across multi-colored, neon shoes and a pair of white, neon-paint splattered, high-top Con’s. I turned to Devin and told him that theses were cool when I was his age in Junior High.

Would you wear these first-grader-with-a-crayon designer shoes? Never again. I should say that if it were the Second Coming and we all had to walk halfway around the world then maybe. Otherwise, forget it. Some things just shouldn’t be resurrected.

Then I noticed that Claire’s worked some voodoo magic on a Rainbow Bright doll and have the audacity to sell these evil, blindingly-beautiful torture devices. *squeee* “Like those are so totally, awesomely cute! Do you think Joey will notice me in them?”

Next thing you know, Swatch Watches will make a comeback and Hypercolor, which was never really a good idea to place in the hands of a randy high-schooler, will glow like a nuclear waste facility highlighting sweaty pits and rolls of fluff too hot to handle.

Esprit tote bags can come back. They’re handy and my mother would never let me have one. Instead of shelling out an Andrew Jackson for these ultra-preppy bags from the Bon Marche or Nordstrom, I got the knock-off in blue. I stuffed my mongo, late-80’s, blue, sky blue and white pom-poms in them… I was cool, well I pretended to be cool then. Nowadays I would choose a black or white tote and stuff it with fifty pounds of church crap – oops, binders and such – and relive the glory days that weren’t.

Anyway, what got me on the dusty trail of memory lane is this treasure I found at Savers. I had one just like it and used it more than girls just wanna have fun, Cindy Lauper. For those of you too young to remember, too old to care, or too nerdy for high fashion– this is Vidal Sassoon’s model of a Crimper. The color is a dead giveaway to its age, though this particular styling tool happens to be in perfect, working condition. Obviously the previous owner fell into the too nerdy category and lacked the courage to climb the teenage social ladder and join the other crimpers at the top.

So this morning I plugged the puppy in and grabbed hold of my daughters hair. “This will look pretty, Is.” The lies I tell my children.

Ten minutes later and behold, hair-nirvana. She vaguely reminds me of Madison, the 80’s, live-action version of The Little Mermaid in the movie Splash with Daryl Hannah and Tom Hanks. (Maybe that’s why we pretended to be mermaids, Ity.)

Maddy told me that her friend, Haley, from Kindergarten said it was pretty and that another little girl thought it was cool. Maybe I can bring crimping back, one head at a time. Maybe I can find a fuchsia checkerboard, button-down, suspenders over the kazoobies, pant suit from Jay Jacobs or a muli-pack of multi-colored, fingerless lace glove-lettes…. wait, those licorice bracelets or striped leg warmers over skin tight stirrups, zippered parachute pants, excessively big hair bows and scrunchies, the Claw, AQUA NET!!!!!

Yeah, I used to be cool. Not so much now after this post.

Daffodil Parade, Puyallup WA April, 1989 Lakeridge Jr. High

Labels: Random Thoughts