Pinch a Penny

Back in the day, when I was bean-pole and had enough energy to power a small village in Botswana, I was a flier. No, not of airplanes, helicopters, hang gliders, a Gumby-like trapeze artist or anything else quite as fascinating. A cheerleader, more specifically, the one who went 'up'.

Keeping your balance while standing atop of two pairs of outstretched hands while yelling and flailing your arms about in a somewhat purposeful manner with pom-poms to boot does in fact, contrary to popular belief, require skill and concentration... pinch a penny. I don't need to go too far into the genius of such a concept to make the point and will leave the rest up to imagination.

Oh, how times have changed!

Nowadays I'm excited to pinch a penny in a completely different way but nevertheless it gets my adrenaline pumping. I have discovered a trick to my budget balancing act through pinchingyourpennies.com and my Sunday paper.

It seems like a waste of time and more trouble than it's really worth. I would hear the first-hand accounts of getting this or that for an unbelievably cheap price or for free and figured it was one of those housewives' urban legends. Next thing I know, all those goldfish I flushed throughout the years will come back to haunt my commode with clinking scales and ghostly 'glubs' of horror all through the wee hours of the night.

Armed with my pinchingyourpennies.com printout from Albertsons, my Prefered Card, and a wad of coupons I set out to do the seemingly impossible. I gave myself $100 to see what and how much I could get. At check-out I watched the amount due climb higher and higher, well past the $100 allotment and worried that either the checker or the people in line would kill me the second I dropped my stash or I would have to bear the embarrassment of having copious amounts of items removed from my purchase, which would end, undoubtedly, in my demise as well.

With the last coupon scanned, my total amount due was $105.12! It doesn't sound nearly as impressive without the hand-wringing, original balance of $253.96! And I received a $10 cash gift certificate off my next purchase! Whoa!!! I was so excited. I had to tell someone what happened before I burst into 'the crazy lady'. Yes, now everybody else can look at me with those doubtful stares and rolling eyes, contemplating their own goldfish poltergeists circling the white, porcelain hell from which they came. I don't care, I just saved $148.84!

Unfortunately, with such a rush, I've gone a bit berserk and now have a binder-filing system and spread sheets matching every flier from local stores. Now I just point, click, and get the best price.

I loved pinching pennies then, I love pinching pennies now, and I don't mind the company of Bob, Bill, Fred, George, Spotty, Jolly, Roger, Harold, Willy, Wally, Jack, Adolph, Crush, Orang-cicle, Marshmellow Puff and the beloved Scurvy.

www.pinchingyourpennies.com